Your Marriage Counselor Is Your Tour Guide Out Of Relationship ...

Click Here To Watch Mark Smith?s Newest Video ?Your Marriage Counselor Is Your Tour Guide Out Of Relationship Hell!?

Over Labor Day Weekend I had the pleasure of going to Mackinac Island. Immediately after getting of the ferry we arranged for a horse and buggy tour of the island. Our tour guide was an 8th generation resident of the island and he was full of interesting facts and stories. Without our guide we would have learned almost nothing about the history of the island, we no doubt would have gotten lost, we would have gotten tired of walking and we would have been frustrated. The tour and the guide were expensive, but it was money very well spent.

I had a tired, hurting couple come in this week who begged from a break from their particular relationship hell tour. They are getting married soon and they wanted to be in a less stressed and happier frame of mind just before the wedding. I supported that decision whole heartedly. They have been wisely limping their way towards the alter with their eyes wide open as to who they were marrying, who they themselves were and where they both came from. He said ?the pain of facing our issues is pure hell?. To which I said that I had been honored to serve as their tour guide out of their relationship hell. We just hadn?t had enough time to clear the firey gates of hell quite yet. I do think that we moved them several layers up from the worst parts of hell. Couples have to be able to resolve conflicts if they are going to have more seasons of heaven in their relationship then seasons of hell. Almost all of us aren?t emotionally healthy enough to stay vibrantly connected in marriage for 20 years, much less 50. It is painful and it will take a great deal of hard work over time to heal enough to have a safe workable marriage. That is the truth.

In a very similar way, your trip around the island called ?relationship hell? would be greatly facilitated by an extremely knowledgeable and talented guide. Are some of you thinking that ?relationship hell? is too strong and too dark of a term? If so you just haven?t been in your relationship long enough. Relationships begin in the joyous heaven that therapists call ?enmeshment?. It is a butterflies in your stomach, happy tears in your eyes, adrenalin filled, romantic, amazing sex filled ride with very few bumps in the road along the way. Enmeshment is awesome. It just doesn?t last. It isn?t strong or sturdy enough stuff to build a life time of marriage on, but it is exactly what almost all of us do. Slowly, imperceptibly, the life blood of our addictive enmeshment juices ebb away until couples find themselves entering mid-life as virtual emotional strangers. Every marriage is a ticking time bomb just waiting to go off. We marry people who are hidden versions of our parents? worst and most hurtful qualities. The proverbial shit will hit the fan eventually. Disconnected marriages lacking emotional intimacy and healthy sexual connection are dangerous places to be ultimately.

Your hell might be the Chinese water torture of boredom and disconnection. It might be a bone crushing agony of an affair. It might be the exhausting battleground of constant, bitter yelling, screaming and fighting. It might be the disaster of alcohol, drug or sexual addiction. It might be the slow burn of workaholism. It might be a lot of painful things but it will hurt, that is for sure. A wise and seasoned relationship guide can explain why you are stuck in your particular level of relationship hell. They can eliminate the bitterness and the sense of victimization. That is half the battle right there. They can redirect you to the real problem ? your childhood wounds and your self. They can give you perspective, insight and hope. They can hold your hand as you walk you through the valley of the shadow of relational death as God holds your other hand. Knowledge, insight, direction, encouragement and rock solid, nail on the head feedback is priceless as you are stumbling around in your particular marital hell. Your time in hell will be shorter and less miserable with a great tour guide. A great tour guide as spend his or her time in their own marital and relational hell, so they know the lay of the land.

Get yourself a great tour guide. Slowly pulling out of hell and into the lower regions of heaven is a beautiful and fabulous thing. I see it every single day in my work. Come get you some of that! You will have to have a high threashold for pain and you will need to work harder than you ever have before, but exiting hell with your marriage intact is very possible with the right tour guide. We have 12 very talented tour guides here at Family Tree with various experience levels and fee levels. Come jump into one of our buggies.

Click Here To Watch Mark Smith?s New Video ?8 Qualities You DON?T Want In Your Marriage Counselor?

You can speak directly with one of our Indianapolis Marriage Counselors by calling (317) 844-2442 or click here to contact us online.

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Mark Smith, LCSW founded Family Tree Counseling Associates in Carmel in 1989. He holds a Master?s Degree In Clinical Social Work from Michigan State University. You can also learn more by listening to his dynamic free 24-hour recorded TeleWorkshops at (317) 524-1650, by visiting our website at familytreecounseling.com, by calling/texting (317)507-8866 or emailing him at familytreecounseling@juno.com

? A House Of Mirrors For Middle Aged Men

Source: http://familytreecounseling.com/marksblog/?p=3628

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